Being a Woman in India, 2017

It brings me immense pleasure to share that I, along with 24 other bloggers are celebrating #9daysofwomanhood throughout Navratri. I thank Uttara for introducing me. I loved her blog on the prompt for today - 'Being a Woman in India, 2017'. I would take the opportunity to introduce Anubhuti. You can check out her take on the prompt for today here. Meanwhile, here's my view. 

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 My day starts at 5:30, when I snooze my alarm while trying to quell my internal sense of alarm too. Once I get out of bed, my day is non-stop. There are dabbas to be packed, toddlers to be bathed, and school bags to be organised. When the preschooler's out the door, I have to head to my own driving class, then make it back to a growing pile of work deadlines. If I focus, I'll finish with five minutes to spare before I've to go back to school and pick up the toddler. This is what life looks like when you try to juggle motherhood with a career. And psst: I wouldn't have it any other way.

Every single thing I do makes me happy. If it didn't, I'd find someone else to do it. And on the days when I don't want to do something - I don't. There are days when I order in food, or let the house stay a mess. There are days when I push work to the next day, and days when I go back to bed while the husband gets our daughter ready. Through it all, what stands out is this: I make my own choices, and I feel supported by my family.


 Did someone say women could have it all? I'm living proof. Yes, a certain  kind of Indian woman in 2017 can have it all - the career, the home, the  one:one time with kids. But you know what the best part is? The fact that  we now have the ability to say thanks, but I don't really want it all. I'd  rather choose the things that make me happy, and not bother too much  about the rest.

 
I believe I can fly :)
I have friends who chose not to get married, rather than rushing into a wedding to placate filial expectations. I have friends who are happily married, and choose not to have kids, because they simply don't want them. I know moms who proudly go to work. I know moms who proudly stay at home with their children. Compare this with the previous generation, who found these choices impossible to make. I know elder women stuck in unhappy marriages out of habit. All of them have at least one child, if not two. If they're stay at home moms, they insist on doing everything themselves. If they're career women, they still put pressure on themselves to do it all too. I feel exhausted just thinking about it.

I've to confess: it took me a long time to get to this point. No matter how much of a feminist I am in theory, to come out and say that you're going to hand over the reins of the kitchen to a cook, or go back to bed because being a mom is bloody tiring sometimes - well, it feels sacrilegious. I won't lie, I still battle with the guilt of what an Indian woman is 'supposed' to be and 'supposed' to do. But being truly happy helps put that guilt in perspective.

I'm not idealistic enough to suppose that this is true for all women in India. The truth is, most Indian women live in a very different reality - one filled with judgment, patriarchy, and unrealistic expectations. We live in an unsafe country where being a woman is about the worst thing you can be. And yet, as the times change, step by step, I can't help but feel hopeful about what being an Indian woman will look like by 2027. Here's to empowering each other, and respecting each other's choices. If we don't, who will?

14 comments:

  1. We NEED to be more hopeful! Times ARE changing. Women have found a voice. We all struggle with the "supposed tos" but we shall overcome and we shall emerge stronger. More power to us. Cheers 🍸

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  2. Your post clearly shows how wonderful and strong woman and a lovely mother you are, how empowered you are. We are a strong clan of today's women, who are bringing the much needed change. Cheers to that!

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    1. Amen to that, moms and women truly inspire and empower each other!

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  3. I totally agree with you. It's all about choices to be make.
    Today women is powerful to decide what she wants and the way she wants to live.

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  4. Totally agree! We can choose and should choose and be accountable for our choices. Loved reading your take on the prompt.

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    1. Glad you agree :) I really enjoyed your take on the prompt too.

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  5. Yes...important is respecting each others choices without judging..and then we can look forward to empowerment

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  6. the supposed to be and supposed to do is a very diffiCult thing to manage. my kids are 4 and i still cry about being a bad mother. Nevertheless, it is good to focus on the best of what we have!

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    1. Sigh, the mom guilt never goes away. But agree, focusing on the positives helps!

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