The Longest Year, Wrapped In a Quilt Made of Memories

The first year of eM's life truly drove home that cliche about the days being long but the years being short. That year, my god, it had the longest days I've ever encountered. I watched the clock constantly, feverishly, hysterically. I literally counted down the days till she'd hold her own head up, start eating solids, and just... stop *needing* me so much. I rolled through most of it on auto pilot. They say you forget the pain of delivery once you've had the baby. I say you just as easily forget those initial hellish weeks - when days blend into nights, and it feels like life will never be normal again. 

For this reason, I'm doubly glad that I journal-ed it all, uncensored. I think that if eM chooses to have a baby, she deserves the full unvarnished truth about just how bloody hard it can be. That's the story that the adorable pictures on Instagram don't tell. I don't want her thinking I was a great mother based on my easy delivery story or my choosing to breastfeed or whatever else. It's easy to look at the the advice I gave others on babywearing/diapering/baby books, and think I had it all figured out. The truth is, I floundered through that first year, and it caught me entirely by surprise. As I mentioned before, I haven't yet decided if I'll share the journal I wrote offline for eM on the blog - I'm too aware of an audience reading this.

Instead, for now, I'm sharing the other side of the coin - glimpses of the first year of parenting, in a retrospective nutshell. It's a lot easier to share, and no less true. That's the thing about parenting, and especially that first year - the highs are high, the lows are low, and there's almost no in-between where you can just catch your breath and get used to it all. It's really only once it passes that you realize - oh. That kind of had its amazing moments. And man, we made some awesome memories!

I won a giveaway hosted by Cookiie Pie Co a while ago, and my prize was a memory quilt made by Love Keepsake. I'd already donated many of eM's clothes, and used others in a quiet book I made her. Fortunately, there were a handful of special clothes I'd kept aside, and these were the ones I passed on to Love Keepsake to make into a quilt. My quilt is still in the mail, but here's a preview I got from the mompreneur who made it. This brings back so many memories:

The base - a purple fleece, was the one eM was first wrapped in. It was my very first pre-baby gift from the girls I was supposed to meet for bandi dosas on the night when eM was born! The base was reinforced with a blanket from a former work colleague, whom I bumped into again when we both attended a prenatal yoga class. We quit the yoga, and have shared many a sinful dessert together since instead! Here's to making new friends and rediscovering the old. There's nothing like having a baby to redefine your relationships. Nearly every friend I made or reconnected with in that first year gifted eM something which made it on to the memory quilt.

Then there's the kurta I had eM in because there was no time to change into a hospital gown. And the hospital gown she was first put in, an impossibly tiny shirt which was still way too big for our low birth weight baby. The first baby clothes she was gifted, which I put her in with trembling butter fingers, convinced I was going to break her.

There's the Carter's newborn sized onesie I tempted fate with and bought before she was born. I took pictures of her in that onesie every single month until she turned one (it went from being an oversize onesie to a too-short crop top, but that thing stretched for all it was worth!) As she grew older, there, too are her first pattu pavadai from her perimma. The dress she wore the first time we attempted a dinner date out, also the one she wore when she first stood up (and promptly plonked back down on her bottom, looking very pleased with herself). Her first pair of soft-soled Skips, which she barely wore, preferring to go barefoot. The outfit my uncle gifted her, which she wore for her first flight journey to meet A's grandparents. 

There's even the dress that someone sold me with a very obvious tear in it and refused to take back - a reminder of how mom dynamics sometimes work. And, on the other hand, the surprise first birthday shirt another mom I barely knew made for eM just because. Ah, moms. Mom friends, mom frenemies, mom rivalries. They're a topic for a whole other post, if not a novel.

Milestones, relationships, battles, victories. Every single square inch of that memory quilt has a story to tell, if not several. It is, in its own way, just as effective a journal as the one I wrote eM. I can't wait for the quilt to arrive so I can start telling her about the first year of her life.

PS: This quilt retails for 1500 + GST + shipping, if you're interested. Prices may vary depending on the size and materials you provide.

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This post is part of #9daysofwomanhood which 24 other bloggers + I are celebrating throughout Navratri. You may have come here via my co-host Uttara's post introducing me, do stop by her blog if you haven't yet. Also check out Anubhuti's take over on her blog.

44 comments:

  1. Love this post! Totally agree with you how it easy!! Haha

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  2. So cute! A keepsake is an adorable idea. Gonna make one carpet for these two soon 😂

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  3. You have so much beauty in your words, it created magic in this post. I wanted to get that quilt since I came to know about something like that, but I found the price to be on the higher side, I was getting it for 7k but 1500 plus is quite reasonable. I will definitely get this now as winters are approaching. Thanks for sharing the details.

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    1. Thank you :) Yeah, I actually assumed it was too expensive so used up most of her old clothes in different ways. Then I realized this brand is actually quite affordable!

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    2. Hey, I contacted them and will be getting a quilt for my son too. Thanks a lot dear :)

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  4. Loved the quilt and post too, of course!.. keep rocking 😊👍

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  6. Now this was a more serious one 🤗 But .. Its more real :) than ever <3

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  7. Wow I have always been longing to get a quilt like that made for my girls.

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    1. Go for it, there are some very affordable options out there now! Do share a pic if you do.

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  8. So beautiful that quilt is! I have been toying with the idea of making a keepsake myself. I love this quilt you had made.

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    1. Thank you! I wish I was talented enough to make it myself, would love to see what you create.

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  10. have recently come across this concept of memory quilts and trust me with your beautiful description I have already made plans to make one

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    1. The concept's new to me too, I was so happy to have some way of keeping my daughter's clothes intact!

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  11. I always wanted something like this! Your post is a bitter realization of what I didn't do as a mom: no memoirs from my babies childhood except loads of pics (credit husband)!
    This post is a reminder to moms to savour and document whatever they can of their baby's life :) Loved it soooo much!

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    1. Aww... maybe for baby #2? I keep thinking of stuff I'd do/document/preserve differently even now :)

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  12. Such keepsakes are awesome. My grandmother had sewed a patch quilt out of my clothes when I was little. My son used it too.

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    1. How lovely! One of the dresses in this quilt used to be mine, and my parents saved it for eM to wear too. I wasn't sure about preserving it further, so quickly added it to our store of memories :)

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  13. The ideas of a memory quilt taking the babies pics in the same onesie every month for a year(I had a similar mini post on parents photographing a youngster right from year 1 every year in the same T Shirt roughly the size of an 18 year old till the youngster is 18) are all wonderful.In fact these things go a long way in keeping a mom's morale up as well as building everlasting bond.

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    1. True that. Are your pictures on Insta? Would love to take a look, baby milestone pics make me so nostalgic.

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  14. Memory quilt sounds fun! Although I haven't made one for either of my babies, but this gives me the idea of making a common memory quilt for both my kiddos. Hopefully, i will be able to get it done.

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    1. That would be so special! I think Anjana (@thelazyparent) was thinking of something similar too.

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  15. Loved the quilt. I think I too will pull out both of my kids clothes and try a DIY quilt based on this concept. Loved reading your story of this amazing quilt.

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    1. Wow, that sounds awesome! Do share pics when it's ready.

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  16. Being a first time mom life can be so overwhelming.. true that the fb and insta pictures don't show us at our worst and our kids do ought to know the truth of parenthood.. i wish i had jotted down every bitter- sweet moment in a journal too.. n what a lovely quilt that is.. ❤❤❤

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    1. In all honestly, I'm still catching up with my journal, but I'm glad I started ❤ Thank you!

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  17. Such a lovely post. It's a unique take on the prompt. I wish I had preserved some more memories of my first year in the form of pics/clothes/journal, etc.

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    1. I do too, even now. I guess no matter how much you preserve it's never enough to capture the magic.

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  18. Besides the post itself, yaay to the quilt you've mentioned!! Book marking that!

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  19. Memory quilt is a great idea. I wanted to make one for my girls and now your post inspired me to get one made soon.

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  20. I've been toying with the idea of getting a memory quilt for Baby Hashtag for forever now. I think I'll go for it :)

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    1. Yes do! And make sure you add a Labelled by Kiara outfit in there too :)

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  21. You have beautifully summed up motherhood in your post. Memory quilt idea is superb..would love to gift my sis for her daughter's 2nd b'day.

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  22. So interesting that you chose to journal your bitter sweet experiences. I think that would be such a beautiful thing to gift your child at an adult milestone. And I have been looking for memory quilts all over. will look these guys up.

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  23. What a beautifully written post. It's mu first time here and I love your fluid writing style, which is very similar to my own, if I may say so myself. :P Giving the journal to eM to read is such a great idea. In addition to preparing her for motherhood, a reminder of those little moments that she won't even remember will be even more precious

    That quilt is such a good idea. I know I will NEVER have the courage to throw out S's old baby clothes. Thank you for giving me an idea as to what I can do with them <3

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  24. Love every word of your post. Its magical how women come to each other's rescue, the good ones. But then there are the jealous ones too, that just compete. Hope we never become those moms. Its such a great journey, tough no doubt, but magical nonetheless <3

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